By Myrna Beth Haskell

Are you thinking of inviting several of your child’s friends over for a sleepover bash, but you are not sure you can handle all those exuberant and tireless kids for more than three hours? Yes, sleepovers can be overwhelming and exhausting. Let’s face it. They can be a downright nightmare. It will take quite a bit of planning and forethought, but both you AND your child’s friends can have a positive experience if you take the time to think things through before the first excited guest appears at your door.

Rule 1: Establish the Rules from the Get-Go

Sleepovers are different from other parties hosted in your home in that the kids know their own parents won’t be coming to pick them up until the next day. This gives a sense of "no holds barred." After hosting several sleepovers for both my son and daughter, I’ve found that kids will respond well to rules if you establish them right away. I like to hold a "Welcome Meeting." Tell the guests about all the great activities you have planned. Then give them a list of rules to follow. Make sure that they understand these are YOUR rules, not your child’s. Tell them if things go well, you have a special activity planned (this can be a blockbuster movie or a game with really cool prizes).

Rule 2: Prepare Your Home and Plan Ahead

Find a place in your home that will be suitable for several kids bunking out and playing group games. This might be a playroom or any large space with sparse furnishings. Remove any breakable or valuable items. This way you won’t become a nervous wreck if a pillow fight ensues. Make sure that the eating area is properly protected. If you don’t have easy to clean tile or vinyl flooring, prepare the floor with some plastic splash mats or drop cloths.

Keep in mind that your child’s friends may not know their way around your house very well, especially in the middle of the night. Place night lights in bathrooms and hallways so it is easier for your child’s guests to navigate their way at night. It’s a good idea to stock up on a few extra supplies, too. Make sure you have extra toothbrushes, pillows and socks, in case one of the guests forgets his or her own.

Most parents agree that too much FREE time is a recipe for disaster. So plan ahead. Make sure you have scheduled several controlled activities besides dinner, cake and opening gifts.

Larger groups of kids tend to get more unruly. Many parents suggest that you keep the total number of guests to eight, including your own child. Most also agree an even number works best – to avoid the "odd man out scenario."

A good rule of thumb is to invite those children whose families you know. Many parents today are leery about sending their children to sleepover parties if they don’t know the family. In order to avoid inevitable disappointment due to declined invitations, put a message on the invitation such as, "Party continues after 8 for those who would like to sleep over." This will enable guests to decline the sleepover part, but to join the festivities and celebrate with your child early in the evening.

It’s imperative that you have a list of various activities planned. If the weather permits, outdoor activities will wear your party goers out without stressing you out. For indoor activities, it is best to choose those which will keep the kids relatively calm and focused. For girls, painting nails and doing hair always works. Fashion shows and karaoke are always crowd pleasers, too (don’t forget the video camera so they can watch themselves the next morning!). If you are having a sleepover for boys and you are worried about them spending too much time in front of the computer or video games, schedule some group activities. Boys enjoy team activities. Organize a mystery game or sports trivia game and break the kids up into teams. Group activities, such as charades and bingo are always a hit with both boys and girls. However, many veterans warn that you have an alternative activity planned in case one or two don’t want to play the group game.

Crafts are enjoyable for any gender. The best crafts are those that also serve as party souvenirs. Some suggestions for souvenir crafts are:

• photo frames (take a digital, group picture, print and insert in each child’s custom frame) – glue magnets on back for bulletin boards
• pillow cases, tote bags or tee shirts – use fabric markers or paint to decorate (don’t forget the party date and signatures of all those who attended)
• bookmarks or book bag chains that celebrate the theme of the party

You will probably be serving dinner, snacks and breakfast, so the food will play an important role in making the party successful.

Mixing food and fun is always a hit. Making individual pizzas can suffice as dinner as well as an activity that the kids will enjoy. In lieu of traditional birthday cake, set up bowls of toppings for a make-your-own-sundaes or make-your-own-cupcakes activity. You can always put a candle on the birthday child’s concoction!

I made the mistake of not having enough drinks at my son’s first sleepover. Remember, popcorn and chips are laden with salt. The kids will be thirsty, so you’ll need to stock up on a variety of thirst quenchers.

Keep breakfast simple. Avoid making omelettes or scrambled eggs which only serve a few at a time. Most prefer to prepare French toast or pancakes to feed a large group. It’s easy to prepare, to keep warm, and you can make a large quantity at a low cost. To spice things up, add chocolate chips or M & Ms to the pancakes.

Don’t forget to check on food allergies. It’s imperative that you ask parents ahead of time if their children have food allergies. Always keep cereal on hand in case someone is allergic to eggs. You should also be prepared for the occasional vegetarian as well. Making sure you have at least one meatless choice is not a difficult task, and it will save you the trouble of whipping something up if one of the guests is a budding vegetarian - I’ve had a few at my house!

Quick tips:

• Less fuss is a must
• Use paperware and paper tablecloths – easy clean up
• Provide a healthy choice snack such as carrots and dip
• Don’t serve caffeinated items close to bedtime (i.e. colas or chocolate)

Uh-oh…it’s bedtime! Even for the most organized party host or hostess, getting the kids to bed at a "respectable" hour can prove to be an insurmountable task. Although sleepovers can be some of the most talked about celebrations, you have to have reasonable expectations about how things will go.

Putting a movie in toward the end of the evening once the kids have prepared for bed usually settles them down. Make sure that the movie is age-appropriate (when in doubt, ask for permission from parents beforehand). Any type of calming activity will suffice late in the evening. Just make sure you’ve completed all endeavors which encourage hysterical enthusiasm (such as piñatas) early on.

Plan to separate groups of kids if some seem to want to whisper and pass notes via a pen light while others are ready to crash. At my daughter’s last sleepover, I separated them into two groups. The sleepyheads made a beeline for the family room, while those who wanted to chit-chat remained in the playroom. This seemed to quell any impending arguments.

After a night of ghost stories, giggling and gossiping, your child’s bleary-eyed guests may not be ready to "get with the program" the next morning. Here’s a perfect solution. Kids love a contest. Give your child’s guests a specified time to get dressed, clean up and pack their things. Tell them there will be a surprise treat if they are successful. This may be a good time to give out goodie bags with a little something extra (such as energy bars or drinks – they will need the energy!).

Hopefully, you remembered to list the pick up time on the invitations, and to remind parents of this time when they dropped their children off the night before. Since most of your child’s guests probably have other activities to attend anyway, a 10:30 or 11:00 AM pickup time is appropriate. There will be time for breakfast and packing things up, but you won’t have guests staying through yet another meal.

Finally, when the last guest has stepped out the door, grab yourself a cup of herbal tea and head for the couch. This respite will be well deserved!

Slumber Parties, by Penny Warner (Meadowbrook Press)

52 Slumber Party Activities, by Lynn Gordon (Chronicle Books, LLC)

Slumber Parties, by Brooks Whitney (American Girl Library: Pleasant Company Publications)

A list and detailed description of award winning sleepover parties for both boys and girls: http://www.birthdaypartyideas.com/html/sleep_over.html